Farmer Wants A Wife 2023: James Weir recaps episode 1 (2024)

Publish date: 2024-04-23

Farmer Wants A Wife 2023: James Weir recaps episode 1 (1)

Samantha Armytage returns to screens on Monday night as the official host of Channel 7 reality show Farmer Wants A Wife and proves trading in the Cash Cow for real cows has done her a world of good.

She blessed us with some star cameos in last year’s season as a sort-of CWA godmother to the city girls, advising them on how to make the switch to the country after doing it herself for her own farmer husband, Richard Lavender. But now, after putting the show’s original host Natalie Grzzhlwhkszi out to pasture, Sam is in the driver’s seat of this tractor.

The woman knows a thing or two about rural living. She’s aware of the true grit and humble resilience that’s required on the land. The unique experience gained in her previous life ensured she could handle it. Sure, ploughing fields is hard yakka. But it’s nothing compared to the all-body exhaustion that comes with having to fake laugh at Kochie’s jokes before 7am.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:Read all the recaps here

Tonight, we meet our five farmers as they sort through a buncha sheilas like they would the sales bin at Lowes. Brad, Brenton, Matt, David and Andrew. Right now, these names mean about as much to us as a crop calendar.

The 40 bachelorettes include HR managers and corporate executives, all lamenting the city boys they’ve had to tolerate on the dating scene back home in the big smoke. We watch as a fleet of Isuzu 4WDs pull up at a heritage estate. The girls disembark, looking pretty but impractical in their playful playsuits and maxi dresses. Their wedge sandals spring across the dirt driveway. They fantasise about how their troubled love lives will be magically fixed by some fresh air, country charm and blokes who engage in smoko rather than power brunches.

We couldn’t be more thrilled for them all. At best, these ladies will find true love. At worst? They’ll develop unsightly saddle sores from a horseriding challenge.

Sam summons everyone into a barn and introduces the farmers to their … flocks. The girls do a lot of whoo-ing. There’s also some nawww-ing, especially when Brenton gets all “aw shucks”.

“I’m not a big talker,” he blushes to Sam. At 26, he says time is ticking and he needs to fall in love. “All my mates are getting married and having kids and I’m the last one left, now.”

“Nawww,” the girls collectively sigh.

“My mates would say I’m the complete opposite to romantic,” he continues. “But things can change and I’m sure it will.”

Sam laughs and makes an offhand aside. “You sound like my husband.”

We promptly die. She knows we’re all chasing glimpses into her new Country Style magazine-worthy life. And we’ll accept anything she tosses our way. It doesn’t matter how vague the comment or allusion is. Fingers crossed producers rope Rich into making a cameo where he offers his farming expertise, like when Nigella guest judges on MasterChef.

Next, we hear from Farmer Matt, who operates his family property in Bookham. Samantha asks about the wild dating scene in his small village.

“When you’re related to half the valley it makes it quite hard,” he shrugs.

Sam nods. “ … Good. That’s … a good sign.”

Well, it’s sad we won’t have an incest twist but, yes, for the most part, we agree with Sam – it is a good sign.

What happens next? All the farmers spend some time picking through the Lowes rack before deciding which five contestants to keep and which three to toss.

Shy Brenton asks one of the ladies if she can see herself living in his shire.

“I’m a bit worried about the weather – the first cold day I vomited, I was so cold that I was sick,” she blurts to him. “I’m also allergic to dust.”

Huh. Well. You won’t make a sensible match. But you will make a fun story arc.

Meanwhile, producers decide to unleash a no-nonsense city girl on Farmer Matt. Georgia is a brunette with a blonde complex.

“Today I’m gonna ask Matt some tough questions – I mean, I’m sitting amongst beautiful blondes and obviously I’m clearly not blonde,” she vents. “My biggest fear is that he’ll think I’m too much.”

No! Not at all! He won’t think you’re too muc-

“THERE’S BEAUTIFUL BLONDES OUT THERE, DO YOU HAVE A TYPE? I’M NOT HERE TO MUCK AROUND. ARE YOU OPEN TO LETTING PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE? IT MAKES IT EASIER IF A MAN IS OPEN TO OPENING UP. I’M THE CRAZY ONE IN MY FAMILY AND I’M GONNA BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH YOU,” she tells Matt. “I JUST WANNA CHECK YOU’RE NOT A BIG RED FLAG.”

So … as we were saying … he totally won’t think you’re too much.

Across the field, Farmer Brad is on a date with a bachelorette who gifts him a cod lure engraved with a quote from a Luke Combs song: I like a bobber on the water. Hookin’ ‘em and reelin’ ‘em in.

Romance is not dead.

Then Brad’s paired with 23-year-old biological scientist Natasha. The conversation crackles.

“If you ever need your cows inseminated – hit me up,” she tells him.

Shakespeare wishes he wrote this kind of dialogue. Is it too late to revise the lines in Romeo and Juliet?

After these whirlwind dates, each farmer is summoned to Sam Armytage’s barn. They stand before their flocks and pick which three will be sent to the slaughter. We don’t know any of these people well enough to document who makes the cut.

“Love is coming home to that person who you can’t stand to be without,” Farmer Brad muses.

Yeah. Or, more accurately: Love is coming home to that person who you can’t stand to be around.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Read related topics:James Weir Recaps

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Farmer Wants A Wife 2023: James Weir recaps episode 1 (2024)

FAQs

Who is still together from Farmer Wants A Wife 2023? ›

Status: Still together. Sparks flew for David McMahon & Emily early on in season 13 of Australia's Farmer Wants A Wife. In October 2023, the couple took to Instagram to announce that “this Farmer has found his Wife,” aka he proposed and she said yes. In March 2024, they were married.

Who got sent home on Farmer Wants A Wife 2024? ›

Farmer Dean

After having trouble deciding who to send home, Dean shocked everyone by sending both Bella and Tiffany home. He then ended his Farmer Wants A Wife journey by choosing Teegan. For the first 'eviction', Dean decided to send Kate home.

Are Joe and Sarah still together? ›

So are Farmer Joe and Sarah still together? Yes! The pair confirmed their relationship status during the reunion episode. Unfortunately it hasn't been an easy journey for Joe and Sarah, as the farmer admitted they “didn't get off to a great start” as they learnt more and more of the finer details about each other.

How did Farmer Wants A Wife finish? ›

Episode 17:

In the finale of Farmer Wants a Wife, both Dustin and Todd found love. Before making their decisions, the farmers visited the families of their final two choices. Dustin chose Sophie, citing their immediate connection and deepening feelings.

Which girl got pregnant on Farmer Wants A Wife? ›

It is not the first time this has happened during the show's run, with Hayley Love falling pregnant to Farmer Will during season 11 in 2021.

Are Ashley and Landon still together? ›

Landon Heaton & Ashley Larea

In the end, Larea, the executive coordinator from Dallas, won out, but much like with Foster and Stone, the romance was short-lived. Larea took to Instagram and, in a lengthy note, confirmed their breakup.

Who does farmer Joe end up with Farmer Wants a Wife? ›

Farmer Joe invited Chelsea, Keely, Sarah, Claire and Cayla to his farm, but in the end, he chose Sarah. Rumours have long plagued farmer Joe and Sarah's relationship, with sources claiming they called it quits after filming wrapped. Well, good news — they're still together!

Who does Joe marry from you? ›

In the third season Joe is married to Love and the two have a son named Henry Goldberg. Unhappy with his marriage and convinced that his wife was crazy, Joe searches for new obsessions, such as Natalie Engler and Marienne Bellamy, in which Joe goes to France to search under the pseudonym of Nick Jones.

Is Joe still with Sophie? ›

Sophie Turner Breaks Silence About “Shocking” Joe Jonas Split: “Worst Few Days of My Life” The couple divorced in 2023 after four years of marriage.

Does a farmer want a wife get paid? ›

Like most reality TV shows, the contestants on FWAW are only paid a small daily allowance to cover expenses. Last year, former contestant Lucie told So Dramatic's Megan Pustetto that the contestants were paid about $80 a day while filming.

Who did Farmer Wants A Wife pick? ›

The May 9 season finale saw Farmer Brandon Rogers pick Grace Girard, Farmer Mitchell Kolinsky chose Sydney Errera and Farmer Nathan Smothers ended up with Taylor Rachelle BeDell. However, Farmer Ty Ferrell opted to break off his connections with his finalists Melody Fernandez and Megan Lay, ending his journey solo.

Does anyone get married on Farmer Wants A Wife? ›

Farmer Wants A Wife is by far one of Australia's most successful reality dating shows. Over the last 12 seasons, the series has kicked off nine marriages and 21 babies! And throughout the 2023 season, fans were delighted to see five more happy relationships develop.

Are Matt and April from Farmer Wants A Wife still together? ›

Matt said the end of his relationship with April was hard to take, but he was still very interested in pursuing a friendship with the brunette. “I'm devastated about it,” he said, from South Australia where he is visiting fellow Farmer Wants a Wife alumni Jedd Routledge.

Why did Hunter and Megan break up? ›

"It's unfortunate to say that Meghan and I have gone separate ways. We gave it our best shot, but it proved so much more than we thought. She wants to be in Tennessee, and I can't sell my farm to leave. I wish her all the best, and a life full of success.

Who is the pregnant contestant on Farmer Wants A Wife? ›

It comes after Hayley Love famously fell pregnant to Farmer Will Dwyer during the 2021 season, after she was matched with Farmer Matt Trewin. Hayley and Matt didn't hit it off, and she ended up having a short fling with Will, which ended when she was around six weeks pregnant.

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